The gentleman on the package has the right idea.

sanc-ti-mo-ni-ous (adj.)

Is it any surprise that the BBW Association of America would hand down a heavy penalty?

The third time's the charter.

Wow. The sky truly is the limit for this kid.

But where was he buried?

Well, it's a more subtle trap than last week's poll:

The Mean Things They're Saying About Our Hall of Fame Ballot

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When asked what the secret to his success was, Marshawn placed a hand in his pocket and reached for a pack of Skittles before promptly being gunned down.

"As a guy who moved from Ohio to D.C. to take a better job, I have but one piece of advice: the road trip to Buffalo is a killer."

'Phin Fain: Ireland's Troubles No More!

What a great performance by LeBatard, but his Deadspin HOF candidacy is tainted by the era in which he works at ESPN.

Even the guy who invented that symbol for MS Word is shocked that it was used on an actual ballot.

Having once dated a girl from Cooperstown, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the concept of rounding up from 74.8% to 75% is beyond comprehension.

Kirilenko's just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If Greg Oden had even a shred of self awareness, he'd have chosen Knee Hate Me.

Birdman isn't copyright infringement? He's an attorney, he should be all over this.

The last time an owner of St. Louis Spirits received $500 million was 2009, when the Cardinals paid off Tony La Russa's bar tab.

Jesus...good to see Wario found work again.