Leading Red Gives Message to America’s Children: “Get Cancer”

I assumed the kid in question was Zack Hample.

If we can’t laugh at kids then what are we doing, really

Plot twist: but the wish was to be told off by a major leaguer.

Unverified fact: the kid’s Make-A-Wish wish was front row tickets to a Giants game.

The kid’s lucky. Zack Hample would have elbowed his throat for one of those gloves.

These kids with their silver spoons. The Votto family didn’t even own a spoon! When they ran out of food they ate little rocks and grass. Piece of shit millenial-spawned entitled one-percenter. Fuck this elitist 8 year old.

So, he’s trying to regain his virginity, right?

Phil Mickelson is as popular as he is because he was the safe white alternative to Tiger Woods for racist golf fans.

• I believe the defending NBA champs should wear championship belts to every game.
  

Entirely unrelated, but the new Gawker UI/web design is terrible. And it isn’t just that it looks crappy, but that it doesn’t actually work correctly (at least, not in Chrome). I can click on the search magnifying glass icon and type in a term, but hitting Enter or Return doesn’t get the search to run, nor is there a…

Oh good. I looks like the check cleared.

IOC decides against dying of polonium 210 poisoning.

You mean I just got the WHOOOOOSHHH treatment?! Aw, FML.

Buying a team with Michael Jordan on it got him 6. Non MJ teams have won one. Reinsdorf has always been a joke, but with Mike on the team it wasn't so obvious.

Keeping the tradition of needlessly cutting clothes.

Here, let me help you

It's a bold move to throw a new cutter into his arsenal this late in the season.

Pretty childish act if you ask me. Makes me wonder how he was allowed in the clubhouse for as long as it's been.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Mainly because they cut them up because they’re itchy.