he’s famous, successful, cocky, handsome, has a body that looks like it was carved out of marble, has dated a number of the most gorgeous women in the world, etc.

is this really your best commentary on the world cup?

Jesus, what jealous hit piece. Very unbecoming.

We are all shocked Billy gets paid to write

It’s funny you were able to write this article about Ronaldo’s celebrations since he has scored 4 of them

Show us on the doll where Ronaldo hurt you, Billy.

Imagine hating one of the greatest athletes of a generation so much that you have to write an entire article about a 2 second piece of a celebration

I can’t believe you’re getting paid to write this stuff.

COULD IT BE THAT WE HAVE REACHED THE END AND HEARD ALL THE POSSIBLE STORIES OF HUMANS POOPING THEMSELVES?!?!?!?

I’m a lady who wears both men’s and women’s fragrances because I like good smells no matter who they are intended for.

Guys, try Joe Malone’s Lime Basil & Mandarin if you like ‘sport’ scents. Its got the dark oily tang of Mandarin peel shot through with enough grassy and herbal notes to make it smell fresh and…

The first time I bought a car, I EXULTED in making the salesman’s day horrible. I haggled over the fucking mats and those dumbass antitheft nuts for the wheels. I pretended I was gonna take my rundown Civic and sell it on Craigslist if they didn’t give me more for the trade-in. I was taking calls from other…

Have you ever seen a map of Maryland?

Also the Middle East.

I assume Italian men account for the bulk of that growth. DIS FUCKIN’ GUY!!!!

In 1993 my mother was attempting to purchase a brand new Chevrolet Suburban. She insisted she wanted ‘barn doors’ in the back because she’s not very tall. Trying to utilize the storage capacity of the vehicle was going to be much harder with the standard option ‘fold out’ doors.

Drew, you’ve been had. You posted literally the exact same “Email of the week” as the 5/30/17 FunBag: https://adequateman.deadspin.com/should-nba-games-play-to-a-score-instead-of-a-clock-1795659849

I like to do that, but the only difference is that I smash up the entire bag of chips so I have more to work with. Once they’re smashed all the way down to crumbs, I like to take the bag and pour the crumbs into my mouth until my mouth is halfway full, then I take salsa or queso(if you’re feeling fancy) and pour in…

If you want weird shapes you should lookup the gerrymandered congressional district version.