Wow, this is a shit headline. Go fuck yourself Rafi.

These are the 33 Democrats who probably think Lucy will let Charlie Brown finally kick that football too.

For at least four generations, (from pre 1900s) my family has kept salted butter on the kitchen counter, in an air-tight butter dish, at room temp. I know from my own experience, that it will last without any spoilage for at least 30 days. But if it is around that long, you’re not using enough butter.

The answer is both simple and obvious: Alabama. Didn’t win their conference, didn’t even win their division, didn’t have to play an extra game against a high-quality opponent. If you’re only going to have a four-team playoff, you have to treat conference championship games as the defacto first round, and conference…

You’re going to be saying it for years to come because this is a terrible suggestion.

Atahualpa would like a word...

I was congratulating myself for having made it, when about 20 minutes in Montezuma’s revenge returned, the likes of which I had never experienced.

It would really help readers if you put up an actual photo of the goddamned tree.

This is the HR person saying nice things after she explains COBRA.

That Apple iPad girl? She’s lying. She knows what a computer is. Don’t play dumb with me, little girl. Typing away on an iPad in a Brooklyn backyard is sucky and you know it. Get a real laptop.

Tonight’s guest on “How to tell someone is not from New York”

If you put $5,000 into a humor detector on January 1, 2017, then you’d be able to comprehend the meaning behind my comment today. Have fun with that knowledge.

The Celtics were everywhere.

That is fucking absolutely savage. I’m actually pretty amazed that they ran this. With that kind of thing, I mean, you must have medical staff waiting in the wings in case there’s a heart attack or something. Someone could die, of disappointment or even humiliation. What are the odds? I mean, imagine going all that…

Gravy is a right, not a luxury.

I hear you, but how many lower/middle income people were itemizing? With the doubled standard deduction, the majority of people who were deducting student loan interest will be better off anyway.

Because of how the All Star game works now.

MLS is perhaps sketchy and disingenuous and whatnot, but despite all that Seba’s three years have been a joy to watch.

Red Delicious Apples. 2 out of 3 are true.