Willowtree Chicken Salad

what happened to K-Ci?

I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS

turn 13?

imma keep using times new roman in my outlook emails

I thought it was zen because of the randomly interspersed shots of lambs in a meadow

why don’t they just cast a protection spell?

that’s a fine looking cutting board, Carl!

Because the Rays should be banned from basbebalk for playing in that basement known as Tropicana Field.

Warby Parker can go to hell. they cap their prescriptions at -7.50 and i hate them.

I love making onion dip! Only thing different I would do is use equal parts Sour Cream, Mayonnaise and Cream Cheese. that’s my go-to base for all dips, actually.  

i counted 5 carries

how was that a double dip? i didn’t see any salsa or tortilla chips.

cough cough ::PEDs:: cough cough

If only you or colleagues at Deadspin knew any journalists you could ask to ask Belichick for you.

• First things first: charcoal, wood, or gas? Wood, charcoal if I have less time on my hands.

My response when people question my Survivor viewership is: It’s like if the NBA had Real World-style confessionals before and after every game.

the terrorists won

alternative title:

1. kill yourself