Bigly.

I disagree wholeheartedly without reservation on number 3. It’s harder to have more fun in a new car for under 25k. If you don’t enjoy an Abarth you have no soul and no capacity for fun.

I own and love my GTI, but the MINI is really a different sort of thing. It’s smaller, and the big thing about them is how customizable they are. You really can order one the way your want it. That comes at a price. And the MINI has FAR more personality than the Golf, for better for worse. I prefer the subtly of the…

I was mistaken about the manual for the new ones. You could get a manual last model year. But $42K is a FULLY maxed out JCW. You can get a JCW for $34K. Sure, the Civic is faster, but I’d rather drive a Mini than a Civic. Especially a Type R with that stupid wing on it. I’m 40 years old.

Thanks Biff. We’ve already started planning the Disney trip...you read my mind. And I do plan on going pretty heavy with experiences over possessions. Just took my oldest (nine) to 24 hours of Daytona last month.

Wow! It’s Brett from the article. Thanks so much for picking me! Sorry I didn’t see this yesterday. It was my birthday and I was busy spending time with family and trying to enjoy myself. It’s a rare day that goes by where I don’t jump on Jalopnik. But this turned out to be a pretty awesome birthday surprise.

Is something super low and really hard to get in and out of really a good idea?

I think this guy needs something with an automatic transmission, which rules out all or almost all of theses. 

I’d say the Alpine and the Rx-7 missed the boat on the reliability requirement

I’m sure an exceedingly rare French exotic will be completely reliable and easy to fix. 

Yeah, it’s the Viper for sure.

If it weren’t for Money, I’d have a stable full of new cars. I’d also have a stable full of Money.

“Modern Minis are 1. big, 2. heavy, 3. ugly, and 4. expensive”

Large heavy and ugly in comparison to what? The original mini? Absolutely. However there is no way it could meet today’s safety standards. In comparison to the CUVs and SUVs eveyone complains about?  Not even close.  It all depends on your frame of reference.

What exactly is your problem with Mini? Yeah, they’re not small anymore - so what? People don’t buy tiny cars these days even when they are available (hence the discontinuation of the Fiat 500), and I have a lot of respect for Mini for still selling a two-door hatch. As for “ugly”... well, they’re not as pretty as…

Again, so what? The cars are small. They make a modest sized crossover too. Porsche’s most popular products aren’t sports cars...

So what? They are slightly larger than the very smallest cars you can buy. They are still damned small cars compared to an F-150. Or a Camry.

There was a way to share this news without being an asshole about it.

In what universe are current MINIs not small cars? Not as small as the original, but people are a hell of a lot larger than they were in the ‘60s, and so is everything else on the road.

Fuck cancer.