With Johnson and Statham’s bald heads, the movie is much more enjoyable if you pretend that Idris’ super soldier is fighting two genetically-modified, sentient testicles.

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

As a Patriots fan, I’ve made the road trip to the building formerly known as The Ralph, a few times, thanks to having a good friend whose college roommate lives in Buffalo, and would put us up at his house. First game I went to was a game where the Patriots killed Buffalo. In the tailgate pregame there was a guy…

The Bills once being Super Bowl contenders is like the Republican Party once championing black civil rights: a historical fact that seems like a myth and also something that will never, ever happen again. 

 I think Ron Mexico is looking for work.

The fact that ZMF finds the Lions too toxic but not twitter dot com tells you all you need to know.

The Lions fiercest rivals are the Cleveland Browns, a team they only face once every couple of years. Why? Because they are perpetually in a race to the bottom. Oh, sure, Cleveland looks okay now but we all know it’s going to collapse in top a shit heap of failure, misery, and lost potential.

Tom Savage got knocked out in Houston and when he woke up he was in a Lions jersey.  Shaking your head yes during a seizure is consent in Texas

“Kid Rock already gave this stupid state a Boston-style Grit Complex.”

Reading this article is probably the happiest I’ll be during this Lions season. Imagine being the fan of a franchise and the happiest you know you’ll be during the entire football season is reading a Drew Magary piece in freakin’ July.

What’cha gonna do when PETERMANIA comes for y... *drops ball to rip jersey, fails to rip jersey, ball is scooped up by a nose tackle and run in for a TD*

The context of those seven words, which should never be uttered in that order, is even better.

But he’s got some talent. He’s got some athleticism

I was reading I was reading it like some kind of telegraph from the war.

It bothers me profoundly how Trump’s dipshit “I can’t be bothered to think” Twitter cadence is filtering down into the rotten old sponges his followers use for brains.

How many more have to die before we finally do something about Sean Penn?

So they were cursed because they didn’t play on some ancient burial grounds?

The Bucs suck so blandly they aren’t even the worst run pirate-themed NFL team to have hired Jon Gruden.

The cat is both on and offsides until the video replay is confirmed.