To be fair, it’d be cruel to make Buffalo fans snort their coke off a mirror.

Did he get a big hit in a game, or did he separate his shoulders swatting away the villagers’ torches and pitchforks?

Where exactly do you recommend acquiring a solar flare? Does my go kit need to be heatproof up to 24 million °F?

Looks like his belt wasn’t the only one on the mound struggling with a bad hangover.

“But what I do have are a very hot set of takes, takes I have acquired over a very long career. Takes that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you apologize now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will threaten…

“These players are so sensitive...” Stephen A. scoffs before threatening an NBA player who said he wouldn’t talk to him.

I survived Hodgkins in my early twenties, so my reaction to Flip getting diagnosed was, “Yeah treatment is going to be hell (5 circles, minimum), but he’ll be back inside of six months.” Hearing that he is still in the hospital is indeed grim, best wishes for a recovery. Fuck cancer.

I didn’t think I could hate Al Davis anymore than I already did. Jesus, help your kids grow. Life can fuck you up enough without your rich dad piling on.

“Give me the Lloyd Christmas.”

BARBER: Really? Again??

“Hi, I’m Andrew Collins, and I have DirecTV.”

So once Elon moves to Mars, everyone who doesn’t own a Telsa with Bio-defence Mode is going be ... eliminated.

Laugh it up but i’m willing to bet this filter thing is all about improving sales in asia, especially China. A country where Tesla has been running into problems reaching sales quotas and whose air pollution problems are know world wide. This could be one of those tipping point features that really matters in one of…

ACTIVATE BIO-WEAPON DEFENSE MODE.

It’s refreshing to see an argument between a black man and a white guy with guns end without any casualties.

Nah, it goes to show that people are more willing to look at the entire person if they’re inclined to like him or her, so you’re not condemning someone who is otherwise doing good based on one or a few errors. If we were to demonize anyone who made bad calls or behaved incorrectly even once, then there’d be no one…

I’m really tired of the “Bryce Harper is a DB” crowing. People were determined to hate him the second he came up in the bigs, but has he actually done anything to warrant that rep besides not being a smiley, happy-go-lucky guy?

How exactly is Bryce Harper a douchebag or not a decent human being?

C’mon... in a world of asshole baseball players, Bryce doesn’t even register. He’ll argue with an ump on occasion, but he never goes after other players, and he treats fans (particularly kids) better than just about anyone out there. He’s honestly about as good of a star as you could ask for.

It’s good tho that we have a fighter in the Senate. There’s a lot that a senator can do that a president can’t because the latter has such a wide range of responsibilities, foreign and domestic. I think Warren is at her best fighting for the people on issues that most directly impact us, and that’s a job that can be…