Preferred method: “Ahoy, hoy”.

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

Kyle Orton’s barber?

Glad he’s finally caught a break.

I draw the fucking line here. We DO NOT want to see the Robert Evans MVP Watch disappear. That shit is the text equivalent of an orgasm.

Its as if they built the team facilities over some sort of indigenous people’s funerary earthworks

Look, doubt Kirk Cousins’ ability all you want, but just know that he was born to do this.

Mediocre? You. You’re fuckin’ out! Kenny should be one of the floating heads on the main page.

Dee Ford runs away from the ball carrier.

I was like, ‘Whoa, buddy, I’m your teammate! Let’s get it together and let’s go out there and kill people.

I’ve been commisioning Fantasy Football leagues for about 10 years now, and I have to say, if you want to keep a good line of communication with your league, you should one up the suggestion listed in the article and create a Facebook Group. The Facebook group allows you to see who has viewed the posts and it makes…

Assholes. Now Geno’s got to hunt around northern New Jersey looking for a giant ATM.

“Mine was worse.”

That whole plotline where Matt Ryan and Julio Jones went to London to save the princess really dragged down last season. Snooze city.

My brother, a Bills fan, pointed out to me that our most popular chant is a remedial spelling lesson, and the fact that the entire stadium screams at first downs is indicative as to the overall success of the team. Again, he’s a fucking Bills fan.

This pisses me off. Seau was not only a Hall of Fame player, but one of the genuine good guys - something there are far too few of in the NFL. The man literally gave his life to help better understand CTE, which will benefit his fellow players and indirectly the NFL. And yet the people who loved him and knew him best…

McNabb’s lawyer really dropped the ball letting him release that statement. I still don’t understand why he hired Todd Pinkston to represent him.

“Sorry judge, in the case of the State vs. Donovan McNabb, we the jury are deadlocked”

well to be fair the whole point of being a BP pitcher is that you can consistently throw the ball where the hitter wants or needs it