Nope? No other eager bilingual kids willing to transcribe the translation? .... Alright, fuck, I'll do it:

Unfortunately, churches are not beholden to the Sanity Clause.

"Yup, that looks about right."

Of course the Penguin feels safe at the Rays' facility where he has zero chance of encountering a Batman.

I'm going through the same process with the National Marrow Donor Program. In the information pack, they actually give us a form describing social media etiquette. We're told not to discuss any details about the recipients age or condition (the only information that is disclosed to us) due to the recipients privacy…

I personally prefer to accept that Harbinger has been screwing Shepard's mind through the whole ME3, which ultimately culminates in the ending with nearly no "right" decision - become another Saren with Synthesis, Illusive Man with Control and who would guarantee that destroy would really happen. The only sensible way…

Yup. Here's that tweet:

This piece did as much as anything to convert me from a Deadspin reader to a Deadspin addict. It's still my favorite thing that's ever run here.

Neither are misplaced apostrophes. Act your age.

That was the greatest night of my life.

I wanted to be in the front.

Expect a low-scoring Final Four, then. God hates FGs.

Meanwhile, Gonzaga continues to misguidedly follow their economics department's ur-text, The Fountainhead.

[Just realizing he never logged out after looking at those Quiz Bowl questions...]

Nah, you're totally wrong. Doing it this way was way funnier.