Teratoma lives matter. Where’s Mike Pence to defend this poor collection of tissue?

You mean you are not going to build a wall to keep the meteorites out?

“The best way I can describe it is, having a diaper on & never changing it. And just sitting in that diaper the whole year.”

You do realize that Kinja is a blogging platform and not the “company” with editorial oversight here, right?

I really thought this would just be a link to Trump’s Twitter account.

Opened six new burner accounts so I could give more stars.

This is a good joke. Breaking it into two separate paragraphs in order to secure a storm of “well actually” replies makes it COTD worthy.

OK.. this is NOT Comcast.. it’s a subcontractor with the comcast logo on the side - jeez.

obligatory:

Best Replies in Baseball

I love you.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

the Indians never quite threatened, but they constantly threatened to threaten

“I wouldn’t say I’m unattractive folks, but given that I’ve had two birds in my hand, there’s no way I’m getting one in the bush!”

Word has it you just need to comment how small his hands are.

Cubs: How’s everything going tonight?
Indians: Fine.
Cubs: Your entrees are good?
Indians: Yes, fine, thanks.
Cubs: More water?
Indians: All set, I’d just like to-
Cubs: Refresh your wine?
Indians: No, thank you, but the food is getting col-
Cubs: Care for the dessert menu?
Indians: No, please, let me eat my dinn-
Cubs: More…

i threw up so much some of it might have ended up in your mouth too

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

When will they learn to stop texting Ashley?