Burneko writing about things he knows a lot about is delightful. Burneko writing about things he knows nothing about is insufferable. I think this is true for most writers, but he really drives the point home.

I HATE having to buy a new vacuum every year or two!

Rocket McFadden is totally voting Hillary.

You’d have to have a pretty crazy reason to do something like this on purpose. Schilling’s just pointing out the obvious: the person responsible clearly had a loco motive.

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

Mobile QBs are always risky because of the injury factor, and rookie mobile QBs less trustworthy. Plus in D’Amato’s offense, they’re gonna pound the ball up the middle a lot, right from the Schottenheimer 4th quarter playbook. I’d pass on both and look for someone else, maybe Shane Falco.

When I hear the word, I always think of the Evil Cartman episode of South Park where Cartman keeps saying Hella

On the college level, University of Alabama sororities have reiterated their opposition to anything resembling a colored rush on campus.

Colorblindness is one of those made-up ailments, like gluten sensitivity, AIDS, and leprosy.

I don’t think it’s his body that can’t handle NFL life. It’s just that he doesn’t drink nanobubbles. You see Suh step on Russell Wilson’s ankle? Anyone else and their foot would have permanently been pointing 90 degrees the wrong way.

o fuck yea br0

What recommendations do you have for those of us in a punters-only league?

Should I start Aaron Hernandez? I didn’t see his name on here. :(

The ASPCA should step in and remove this dog from his home now.

“Why would there be confusion if he spoke English? Joining us in in studio to discuss is Emmitt Smith.”

I thought this was a Greg Jennings highlight until I saw Darren Sharper rape the cheerleader. I can’t believe Madden 12 only gave Sharper a fine for that. The realism of these games is getting out of control.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog with that kind of thousand-yard stare.

Oh sweet mother of internets, your nightmares are simply a Google away. That motherfucker on the left .... he’s ... he’s ... oh Lord almighty he scares chil’ren.

If Delonte West hadn’t boned Lebron’s mom.