I'm confused about what kind of information spies think they could get from college girls. I'm sure the Russian government is very interested in which bars don't card and which alcoholic beverages are the lowest calorie and what questions might be on that Trends in Western Civ exam... but don't they have the internet…

Jim Hairball

Interesting use of a photo.

Next time I go to a Japanese restaurant I'm going to point at the tempura and say "Gimme one of them free lattes."

I had a customer literally grab me by the arm and drag me back as I tried to exit the store after my shift. She then proceeded to put her face about ten centimetres away from mine and spit at me, "Gift cards!" I looked at her hand on my arm, back at her face and then looked at the two still working staff members…

So apparently you're missing the part where

My SIL used to work at Shmolive Garden too. She thought the penne was pronounced "punani"...until she said it at work one day.

Can we expand this to also cover people who claim to be "very" allergic to something just because they don't like it?

I think that's when making an English muffin pizza is the way to go here.

i dont understand blindly loyal friends who say nothing/back people up in their stupidity. shut it down, guys. shut the bullshit down.

I am going to order a diva cup. I think maybe the rigidness of it will help it stay in place? Yes though soft cups (for me) > tampons.

I just really don't understand what kind of vagina tampons are made for???

I'm going to be the first typical Jezzie to chime in here with "diva cup!" It's cliche because it's true and because menstrual cups are awesome.

Tampons........cue this commercial.

Am I overthinking? Am I just being paranoid? It's exhausting.

My siblings and I have ALL had this complaint about my youngest brother who was born super early as well. I believe the usual phrasing was "just because he looked like an unhatched chicken at birth does not mean he doesn't have to do dishes."

I always carried a tiara in my purse because you just never know when the occasion will call for one.

I guess...if you don't have the courage to love yourself/own your power.

ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ADULTOSAUR GOING TO WORK

NOW YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE, IN AN ELEGANT AND TASTEFUL MANNER THAT CONVEYS RESPECT AND YET HONORS CENTURIES OF BLING APPRECIATION. I SALUTE YOU SIR.

Do you really think you can win me over with an article about tiaras, Mark? Just kidding, of course you can.