He doesn't even know what the stupid complaint of the aggrieved thin-skinned white Christian identity politics assholes is; they think it's somehow an affront to their religion if other people don't say "Merry Christmas" to them, as part of the general bullshit fundamentalist belief that non-Christians being treated…

I accidentally signed up for the Cub Scouts while on a sugar bender after drinking a Squishee made entirely out of syrup.

The Boy Scouts stay silent on political issues? So their refusal to allow gay scouts until just a few years ago, and continuing refusal to allow atheist and agnostic scouts, is somehow not political?

Plus, you know what really pisses off liberals? When conservatives drink bleach!

This is the first I'd even heard of them.

He was just hiking the Appalachian trail!

And that's Rasmussen, which has even more of a Republican bias than the mainstream media.

And what about when the Dems rammed Obamacare DOWN OUR THROATS? We'll just pretend the ACA was passed just like we were trying to do with this, instead of the reality where there was a year of debate, hundreds of amendments and Obama bent over backwards to try and work with Republicans but they just refused to…

Not just quoting - he actually said that creep who covered up the rapes of dozens of children would "Act with honor and dignity and respect". What the flying fuck?

Or they'd just ignore it, like when David Vitter got caught hiring prostitutes for diaper play, and he still got reelected - though at least he finally lost when he tried to jump from the Senate to Governor.

During Watergate, the Secretary of Defense and State set up special code with the military so they could tell them, "Nixon's drunk again, so don't follow any of his orders without checking with us" because they were afraid he might order a nuclear strike on Hanoi. The Trump situation must be even worse, since he's…

My liver can't take it.

I think we're better off with a Senate leader who can't pass anything as long as the GOP is in charge.

Donald's gonna be snorting even more coke tomorrow than before the debates, he'll probably even be including sniffs in his tweets.

While Mitch McConnell was very talented at destroying all Senate norms to obstruct Obama, even stealing a Supreme Court seat, it turns out that's all he's good at; he can't actually get anything done.

That's his real hair; he just has the world's most ridiculous combover, and dyes it an extremely ugly color.

My dad is a great cook, and for special occasions he always makes really good, fancy meals, particularly for Christmas. When I was in sixth grade, he made a filet stuffed with oysters - and that was the year a got a violently horribly flu which lasted two weeks and was the sickest I've ever been, so didn't get to eat…

And Dylan was a super-trendy name - in the early-mid 90s when 90210 was airing. By 2008 when this kid was supposed to be born it wasn't. A

And he would have told the nine-year-olds about living on a yacht surrounded by prostitutes.

Yeah, that's I think only the second one so bad I reported the profile (the other was somewhat similar if I remember correctly).