RANCH ABUSE!

What the actual fuck? Why is it purple? And why not just make a taco casserole if you want to use ground beef?? Jesus.

Vom.

What is a* ass bitch?

*I'm imaging Chris Brown would say "a" instead of "an."

What will the libertarians say about THIS? (My Randian boner is BACK!)

Did I say they should be having sex because they went on one date? They clearly had gone on many more than one. Sex isn't "the default" but it is a commonly accepted part of romantic relationships. I don't know anyone, anyone, who enjoys making out but not any sort of sexual activity. Making out is debatably sexual…

I understand that. I just think "friendship" is a more apt name for that sort of relationship, but I guess we are dipping into semantics here.

She was just sleeping over? When they don't sleep together?

How do you live together having never slept together? Honestly sounds quite strange. And before you go all "HOUSEMATES DON'T SLEEP TOGETHER," they were in a relationship.

Maybe I'm just bad at math but isn't Valentine's Day six months out?

<3<3<3

That he says "minerally" just really underlines the stupidity here.

Love me some clipped gradient.

It is.

Hey, that's MY name.

he's GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

"look in the banana stand tbh"

That message is about as nonsensical as QuickType. I think you met your match.

Brian Moylan? ON GIZMODO? WUT? Welcome back Brian! I lurv you.

Get fucked, Jared.

Gurl, your hyperbole is showing. (And I like it.) ((And I know, you are a man.))