Ok, now I’m curious: why does a beheading by guillotine have a different effect on the head than a beheading by axe?

Police union boss: “if it’s wrong to judge someone on their physical characteristics and the circumstances of their birth, then it’s equally wrong to judge someone on their choices and actions.”

I know. This is so satisfying. Particularly for language geeks.

Yeah, by writing an article that salivates over the “artistry” of this video, one’s left wondering if maybe he’s been salivating over its content, too. It is truly fucking gross.

Old white woman knees a cop in the groin and lives to tell the tale? Weird.

Causecasians gets my vote. 

I haven’t watched the video, either. I haven’t watched any of them. I can’t handle it, and I don’t know if it’s fragility or what—I’ve always assumed watching a stranger die would feel to me like an intrusion on them, like mere voyeurism. Which sounds high and mighty of me, though I don’t mean it to be, because I get…

I know this is petty but...I can’t just cash in my points for this without making a purchase, Sephora? I tried to do this yesterday, and you can only redeem your rewards without a purchase if you’re getting something worth 750+ points. Like, I get not shipping someone a 100-point sample of dry shampoo if they don’t…

Right? That sounds like someone scripting a shakedown.

“The greatness of our nation comes from our citizens’ commitment to the rule of law, and their government’s disregard of it.”

I say start making shirts that say, “Not a racist!” Anyone who buys one is a guaranteed racist.

I am a parent and, yes, I believe this is what all the experts and mommy blogs advise.

I was gonna propose Kar(m)en, but yeah, Tom Austin is way better. If Charles Dickens were writing about a petty racist gym cop, he’d a named him Tom Austin.

Yes. Wouldn’t want to take police action hastily, commissioner. The consequences could be devastating.

All of that.

So this is what it sounds like when doves cry...

“My fear is that I’m becoming inhumane like them because I was soooo happy when he cut her Meals on Wheels and didn’t cut her Social Security check.”

Incomprehensible word salad, you say? Well, maybe he can peel off some Trump voters after all.

You seem to forget that COVID-19 is a hoax—no one is really sick or dying—but also COVID-19 is actually an illness caused by 5G cell phone service, while at the same time being a man-made virus, and that being asked by a private citizen to wear a particular type of clothing in a private establishment is a murderable…

So dude was arrested and let out on a recognizance bond, presumably because his charge wasn’t serious enough to merit keeping him in jail. Because it’s not like he violently attacked a complete stranger on the street because he was shitfaced and got mad at her for doing exactly what he was doing. More likely than not,…