The question was so incredibly fucking stupid that I thought I’d take a poll and see which one wins. So far, they’re neck and neck.

This article about something bad is the perfect time for me to indirectly remind strangers of my ethical, moral, and intellectual superiority.

More of this, Dave. Interview them all before they’re gone!

DISLIKE

The greatest trick Marketing departments ever pulled was convincing the world they should exist

Some quality #viral #content from @adampally, there, ensuring a wider media footprint for the @shortyawards with his zany #existentialregret. Like and subscribe for more.

Life is a rich tapestry and we all have different feelings towards meat but

Pretty tough for him to be “not long for the T-Wolves” when they’re contractually obligated to pay him $147 million over the next five seasons.

Mine doesn’t. It has known many tongues

I liked the way people on Twitter kept going “You know, if you don’t count all the possessions where he was terrible, Rose is having a pretty good game!”

Salka needs a wall to defend him from Mexicans, because he clearly cannot do it himself.

God this is a shit take. What about teachers? Firefighters? Service workers? Where the fuck are they supposed to live?

the retirement of offensive lineman Richie Incognito

That’s some mealy-mouthed bullshit right there. “What’s the plan going forward?” Might as well ask him “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”

Old enough that the first Gulf War wasn’t history yet.

Our ability to feel any sense of joy was traded for a third-round pick in 2019.

If I dodged and stuttered and made excuses like this lady in a job interview, I would not get the job.

“Oh shit oh shit, Brown v. Board of Education. That sounds important. Brown v. Board of Education, Brown v. Board of Education, what do I do, what do I do... Which answer isn’t racist? 50%/50% chance...ummm......”

In a related story, 500 gas stations are furious about their missing restroom keys.

Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet.