DONUTS IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM!!!

This just in: the NFL is the absolute worst.

my current strategy for anthem/troop appreciation standing is picking out the fattest guy I can see and only standing if they do first

Soon we will have pot advocates screaming about how Pot sold out.

cop question

“Here in Cincinnati, we prefer our black men to reinforce racist stereotypes.”

I think you need to be about 95% less angry about this issue.

He was at Louisville going to classes

I wish I could see the look on Ryan’s face when, now that he has the free time to actually sit down and read it, he comes to the horrible realization that “Atlas Shrugged” is complete crap.

It’s the NBA, so: Twitter emojis.

In Mormon basketball Green would have kicked in him the nuts and not even pretended it was anything else.

$0.13 below its lowest price ever!

+1 best deal we’ve ever seen, today only

“A guy is over-playing me, so I go backdoor. Then, the player, they’ll cheat it, so you’ll pop back out and have a wide-open shot”

It’s like my mama always said: if you want to hate the blacks and Jews, don’t take a job coaching basketball at a college founded by Jews.

I’ve actually written out some of the closed captioning as a public service:

Considering we’ve been involved in a war in Syria for going on 3 years now, and actual news happened yesterday, yeah it makes a LOT of sense. But you focus on what Tucker tells you to, and make sure you let us all know what his talking points were.

Sounds like my first date.

Says who?