Is "asked for a discount" just a euphemism for haggled, or are we to imagine she was like, 2000, hmm? And what is the rate for Princesses? ::wink::? Because I think haggling is standard in antiques shops (disclaimer: I have never been antiquing), but asking for a discount on account of being famous is gross.

According to my superreligious family, it's been the end times since I was about 2.

I am a firm believer that you are either born with that kind of beautiful hair or you aren't....I am not. So JELLY!

SHE IS LITERALLY THE BEST AND I CANNOT LIE.

INTERNET! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Also, her kid is fucking adorable.

I'm hoping this duet will finally answer what the hell was on Joey's head.

What I really love — and by "love" I mean "have to restrict my teeth from grinding on each other in loathing, and also some fear" — is that it sounds less like you improvised that out of your own creative ladybrain, and more like you just repeated something you heard. Verbatim.

The dick cannot fail, bro...Because IT'S TOO BIG TO FAIL IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU HIGH FIVE BRAH GOOD ONE AWWW SHIIIIIIT LET'S GO SLAM SOME NATTY

That's not how you spell "chode."

First I read this:

Any relation to Cunt Punt Girl?

This way lies madness. I just so happen to belong to that most elite of clubs, Le Costco. I'll look it up, thx.

Deeply, deeply internalized misogyny, from growing up marinated in the stuff.

Miley Cyrus is a pot-smoking, marriage equality-supporting young person. I'm not surprised at all. I thought this video was great. :D

I was COMPLETELY prepared to hate it, but it was fabulous in every way. She gets the MB crazyeyes down like nobody's business.

I can't wait to hear why people, who would otherwise find this hilarious, hate it because of Cyrus.

I actually love this so much. I think it's in line with Savage/Santorum-ing. I'm impressed that Miley would engage in such a big FU to the GOP. Because, seriously, FU GOP.

There are a few moments in this video where Taran looks like he's impersonating Will Arnett. He needs to explore this possibility further. I've been a fan of Taran Killam since he joined SNL and I have high hopes that he'll play a big part in filling the void left by Bill Hader. Don't get me wrong... I'd rather have…

Her first album was released in 1996 when she was 18. She hasn't been around 20 years. She JUST turned 36 the other day. That stupid bitch doesn't know what she's talking about in more than one area.