Warning: The people who commented on yesterday's Pissing Contest, should not visit the homes of people who attempt this DIY project.

Dear Lorde,

Does she always have such bad posture on the red carpet? As TLo often say, "Chin up and tits out, sweetie!"

I've tried smoking pot twice, but like President Clinton, I didn't inhale. For realsies! It happens. I literally have no idea how to inhale! I can't smoke cigarettes either — another thing I only tried a couple times. But I spent a lot of time in college with people who did smoke and my favorite story is when my…

I was just thinking the same thing! Squee! Laura!!

"Hi, if all our flight attendants could step on this scale so we can determine which routes you'll be working; thanks."

If by "Febreeze fights" you mean spraying the ass of the person who farted and stunk up the room? Then yes.

Jaysus! Am I the only one who learned "Ignorance of the law is not a defense," during Driver's Ed and subsequently how that same rule applies to other areas of life!?!? Just because you didn't read the warning on the box doesn't mean it wasn't there! FML

Lana Del Rey Not Worthy of Anyone's Attention, Please Stop

Your grandma is a very wise woman!

When my sister in law was interviewing DJs for her wedding in the late 90s, one of the guys she talked to said that he actually had a couple choose NIN Closer as their first dance song!

I didn't want to include the "giving away" part but it was the only way I could include my step dad. My dad gets hives every time he's even in the same room with my step dad, so I couldn't have them both walk me down the aisle. So I compromised by doing the "who gives this woman away" nonsense, with my dad, mom and…

That's beautiful!

That's the song my husband and his mom danced to at our wedding reception!

How could you not know that this is what your tan lines would like when you bought the suit?

First, if I'm not mistaken, that Fleetwood Mac song was written about Mick Fleetwood with whom Stevie Nicks had a secret affair (that didn't stay secret very long, obvs).

I love this picture so much! He wooks wike a wittle baby in his bucket hat!