You deserve every joke made about you.

Number one: he wants to zoom. And number two: he wants to zoom.

I’ve decided to create a fictional automotive shopper named Roger...

Logitech M705 Marathon Mouse. Why:

Logitech M705 Marathon Mouse. Why:

For $100,000 you could buy 200 Hyundai Accents and control the flow of traffic wherever you go.

I would say there is no place for them on today’s trucks as they are just not practical and break the clean lines on modern trucks. The last good looking one were on the second generation lightnings. On the other hand, on older trucks they look like they belong. In my opinion the best looking ones are on the short bed…

I’m a sucker for Corsairs, Lancers, and the barkeep’s daughter.

Dayton B652

one of many tricks that don’t work any more. Best advice: learn how to give yourself the best odds at talking the officer out of ever giving you the ticket in the first place.

I was thinking it was some sort of remake of this:

Clearly you are not familiar with the actual greatest Jalopnik shirt of all time.

That soup recipe story reminds me of the time I found a soup chef’s recipe in this armoire I got. He was such a strict man, very particular about his soup and customers...

Perhaps his hovercraft is full of eels?

I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.

Since when do gentlemen frequent Jalopnik? ;)