As long as the DNA sample is used only to test for paternity and, if negative, promptly destroyed so as not to be included in CODIS. Without this guideline, then they would have to compel me legally.

John Scalzi as well. Who’s the elite commenter now? #notme

Sorry, Browns legacy stayed in Cleveland per the settlement with the NFL. Modell’s stolen team started anew — Jamal Lewis did not break Jim Brown’s team rushing record, for example. Anything else is just wishful covfefe.

Hunh? Perfectly cromulent comment designed to goad Ravens fans into a frothing frenzy based on a rookie’s handful of games.

Lamar Jackson is not an elite quarterback. Then again, neither was Joe Flacco.

Maple Heights? Brunswick? Parma Heights? Aurora?

This stove is only a pinkish Gruden right now. I need some infrared Gruden action from this stove!

So he broke his hand (non-football injury) in the altercation?

YOUR SPINE IS MR. GLASS-LIKE. WHY?

GET WELL, GET WELL SOON, WE WANT YOU TO GET WELL!

(everything is sounding like a eulogy, Jebus.)

What is the Gruden level of in that pic and will it ever go infrared? Can I cookout over it?

Micro transactions are for the cosmetic nonsense. DLCs will be free.

The Capital Weather Gang or American Weather: Mid-Atlantic are eons better. They also own it if they screw up. Screw TV weather because in DC it is all about hypin’ up the people. 

What’s he have to do Florida judges, kill some . . . never mind. Fucking judicial assholes down there.

He is the grandson of Earle Bruce. The local police (Powell) probably were awed.

How? He is the grandson of Urban’s mentor, Earle Bruce.

That is a spicy stove color. I’ll stay well back.

They are addressing some issues pre-launch:

Just the . . . tip?

I will slink out in shame now.