Can anyone TL;DR the broad strokes of this for someone who hasn’t had enough coffee for that much reading and will forget that this tab is opened by the afternoon?

So I’m not an auto-buff, so maybe I don’t know what I am talking about, but isn’t cruise control a thing? It’s a thing in every car I’ve ever driven. Isn’t that the entire point of cruise control?

Who said it was the next big thing? Sometimes, you can just sell a thing. Things are nice, too.

Having an issue with stubble doesn’t make someone an asshole. Are you not aware that stubble hurts? Haven’t you ever kissed a stubbley man or had sex with a man with a stubbley pubic nest? It doesn’t feel good. It’s not a matter of appearances; it hurts. Gender doesn’t come into play in this one. If you have anything…

My high-school had vending machines.

Since when do they not sell canned beverages in schools?

Look up, dear.

Quick question: What shape do you think the world is?

I dont think weddings have victims.

At least 30,000.

Think of anything you’ve ever done passionately or angrily. Then think about the term “crimes of passion.” Intelligence doesn’t really matter in these scenarios. Something broke, and the crazy came out. Doubtful there was any premeditation.

Sudowoodo isn’t even a grass type. It’s a rock pretending to be a tree.

Yeah a lot of your favorite artists were lip syncing too. It turns out it’s really hard to make live singing sound as good as a studio recording.

Wrong. She’s a performer. She gets paid to perform.

No, lots of things can mean yes. If I ask my partner if they want to get kinky tonight, and they wordlessly begin touching my bits and kissing my neck, it’s a fair assumption we both just consented to a little eroticism. I think fucking a dolphin is just as gross as you do, but let’s be real. Dolphins are intelligent.…

Mostly it just means I’m a Dick.

So what you’re saying is your brother was a douchebag and he went to war and he was still a douchebag? That’s not what they mean by war changes people.

I bet this comment made you feel clever.

Nope. What I’m telling you is that I thought you were talking about a completely different chair and just totally disregard my comment.

Anime is weird to me. I don’t get why people love or hate it, except for that camp that just hates animation in general. There’s good anime, there’s bad anime. I like some shows. I dislike others. I don’t care if it’s “anime” or not. I care if it’s an entertaining chunk of programming.