I’m here for the No. 1 Chris shading all the lesser Chris-es.

There are some Bernie bros I'd like you to meet too.

When Caputo’s sociopath girlfriend Linda held a gun on Sophia’s wife, I was hopeful that would send him in a different direction. When he was like, “Oh, that gets me so hot!” I was disgusted beyond all measure. He’s pretty irredeemable at this point.

Mayo and mustard are equally disgusting.

This is also true for acquaintance rape, IIRC. It’s not that EVERY drunk college douche is a rapist. It’s that the ones that are rapists (and get away with it) have multiple victims.

NVM WHATEVER I WANT ECTO COOLER NOW

There’s always drama in the banana stand.

I dunno. I have pretty flawless dumpouts when I take my expensive probiotics. I also read they help with depression because some neurotransmitters are produced in the gut. But that's as far as my knowledge takes me. Empirically speaking they work for me! When it's in the budget. Don't bother with the yogurt though.…

Do not appoint to fill a gap.

The subway isn’t like a big truck. The subway is a series of tubes.

From Planned Parenthood:

Wait... ARE WE VOTING FOR WHAT IS THE WORST? Oh god... I think I might be going about this the wrong way. DO OVER GUYS. DO OVVVVVVVER.

Pretty sure he didn’t realize trying to win the USA proper’s WAY different than the easy street for the super-corrupt state gov in Florida.

I had many thoughts last night, in no particular order:

Oscar-worthy performance

Lace is less concerned with vegetables or being a widow than with the apparently insurmountable task of controlling her violent id, who is also named Lace.

True story:

also the character of not-john-corbett is random and i wish he would go away

Mother, May I Trick with Strangers?