Can Jezebel please offer $10k for the person or persons on the other end of that exchange to come forward and share the joke? I HAVE TO KNOW.

Vh1 ran the whole series nye to nyd and I've caught it once on a weekday evening since. It's the only reason I've ever watched vh1.

Just to be sure...one bottle per person watching with me at my house or per contestant? I wanna get this right.

I have never watched The Bachelor before, but this season I actually know one of the women—she lived across the hall from me freshman year of college and we hung out pretty often at the time, though not really at all after that. I have to watch, right? But, like, how much alcohol do I need to have on hand to get…

I can't believe this is even being debated. I think the modern holiday classic The Santa Clause is pretty clear on this. All a non-white person has to do to be Santa Claus is kill/be present for the death of Tim Allen and put on the suit. Show the kids the movie and they'll be all, "Oh, so that's why this guy is…

Well, it's seductive in an "I made this dress out of my dead mother's portieres and now I'm going to prostitute myself to a jailed scallywag to save Tara!" kind of way.

You are so good at accessorizing stuff. You should be a stylist.

Since I just got dumped by someone I'm still in love with who advertised as 5'10" but was actually 5'8" (we met online), I'm choosing to read this article as proof he'll never find love again :).

Mom?

This is how I feel about Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad.

RE: the gravity defying side-bangs thing. I HAVE SEEN THIS IN REAL LIFE. Our Junior Analyst/Support person /receptionist has hair that is what I imagined Ariel's hair to be IRL only it's brown. So she's like hot Ursula. That, plus her perfect skin, delicate features, and parent-financed amazing wardrobe and I feel…

You are not alone!! I still want the black demon guys from Ghost to come after Fitz so he's just out of the picture. I'm so over his shit. Team Jake!!

NEED THIS NOW.

I feel so disillusioned...I spit out wine the first time I heard her say it. And then when I watched it again later with a friend I laughed for like a minute and a half. And it's all lies!

Are we sure it's not Poussée or Poussé ("Accent à droite, bitch!")?

Professional survey researcher here. You're wrong about the sample size and if you think those questions weren't field tested among men in the countries surveyed before the survey was deployed, you're nuts. I also find it interesting that you declare that this was "obviously" a terrible study without reading the…

Did you ever have Pimp Quest? It was a very non-Jezebel friendly game (you had to earn money to buy more hos) but it was so much fun. I still have the calculator but no games.

Those are the worst jazz hands I've ever seen. Bob Fosse is spinning in his grave right now.