At just about every level of out-of-touch management: “But it’s so much EASIER and QUICKER to try to erase things (and fail) than to come up with great, beneficial initiatives worthy of celebration! Why can’t we just throw (someone else’s) money at it?”

Oh, dahling, not even CLOSE. (how is it possible to be so spectacularly un-curious and unknowledgable about anything that’s happened outside your own tiny sphere of time? You can’t blame it fully on being a teen and/or uneducated. It’s just pure narcissism.)

You can’t imagine any of it, or that it’s a duration of 3 minutes?

Thanks! I will try tonight (but if I end up looking like The Donald....)

How long does it take for the orange-y cast from turmeric to fade (or doesn’t it to that to your skin? I know it does to my hands, which has made me hestitate to add it to a DIY face mask.

I’ll be “that person” this time: Philadelphia Inquirer, not Enquirer.

Sweetie, it’s fine (waves at all your Jezebel friends). I’ll just be sitting over there; you won’t even KNOW I’m here.

Hi, honey! ;)

If you’ve never heard the “Fiasco” episode of This American Life, treat yourself: the narrators are laughing so hard they hyperventilate, and it is GLORIOUS. http://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives…

They’re delusional, I tell you. As if tumblr is the next Top Hat Cafe, full of Lana Turners waiting to be discovered /-:

Great... I laughed so hard at my desk that I snorted. My 14-year-olds could probably do it perfectly, though: OBSESSED.

Good lord. So had I. Just a little glimpse of the future, younger Jezebels!

Class of ‘83 RULES! *looks around, realizes everyone else her age went to sleep hours ago, shuffles off*

To be fair, that leaves a whole world of other alcohols on the early-morning bar.

Funny you’d say that. Where I live, it’s just as much the politically ultraconservative people who make these arguments regarding vaccination and various DIY medical decisions.

Bless his heart — he knows the important thing in American religion is a really nice website. And don’t forget to follow his Twitter account https://twitter.com/thetrinitychrc…, which right now has 515 followers and is full solely of very nice comments left by ‘supporters.’

Stealing something... to hang in a church. STEALING. To hang in a CHURCH. People, there are only 10 rules to follow — did you not understand No. 8??

... And his ex (soon-to-be ex? I can't keep it straight) Erica, is apparently dating Seal?

He got away with it long enough to be a step (a looooong step) from the presidency. Look in just about any field, and you’ll find a Rubio.

It’s ok. We can put our energy before then into Michelle Obama 2020.