I am reminded, however, of a guy I knew who spent one teenaged summer working as a janitor at a fun-fair.

Oh, yes; I mash the cooked chickpeas, with skins on, rather than putting them through a processor, because I love my homemade hummus to have lots of texture.

Alas, alas, your fine joke was no match for the staggering weight of my ignorance. Mea culpa!

Slicing a bagel the way you slice bread would be a good start. The middle would become two distinct circles, and you could put a pepperoni slice on each.

You have nothing. I didn’t think so.

Since you say it’s facts, could you please provide a link to peer-reviewed research saying that? Because I still don’t buy just because you said it.

Okay, ginger-lemon-honey tea may not detox you, but it is f’ing delicious and should be drunk daily anyway.

Yeah, I’m with you on not believing it when people talk about dehydration as if everyone, everywhere, is dehydrated by default unless they’re swilling liquid pro-actively.

Hey, I’ll eat that if you’re not going to finish it...

The trick to eating garlic and still having a healthy relationship with your snooglee (i.e. the one you snoogle with), is to make sure your snooglee eats the garlic too.

**waves in Canadian**

I am sorry but that clip of a guy playing a (kickass) tune on the bhangra drum while a (digitally-added) white cat headbangs in the foreground was the best thing on the internet this year and single-handedly got me through the election. I still don’t know why it made me laugh so hard.

“Beets taste like dirt” is the entirety of why I don’t like beets. :-D

They are definitely not sweet, so you might enjoy them. Good tasting-luck!

Yeah, “pre-med” is not a thing. Pre-med is: You’re getting a degree, and you want to be a doctor eventually, but hey, how about we see whether university kicks your ass first, shall we?

They’re a bit bitter, in my opinion. Never liked turnips, and never liked beets either.

...a [guy] Grande has been dating for about seven months.

I know, I mean...

Okay, I’ve never seen this stuff in person, and wow-ee, that is some marbling.

I would be fine with ground chicken burgers instead of chicken breasts, if I knew I could eat delicious meat that was never a sentient being.