I saw this on Twitter, and because having an attention deficit is kind of the whole point of Twitter, I didn’t read too carefully.

The ex has found an open backdoor that Michelle hasn’t seen and closed yet.

I don’t drink, so this isn’t a problem, but geez, have I been eating out of boredom.

Game-changer, if true.

Well, that’s extremely freaky and also relatable. The closest I’ve gotten to death would have been drowning too, although I only had a moment’s scare when the current pulled me under and I couldn’t find air or sand. I also went home and never told my family.

If you’re very online, then you know how your wife became the person she is, even if you didn’t personally see the mechanics of the transition.

That cookie looks pretty good, but his subconscious really whiffed on the filling.

It has lead to remedial action. (Some we’ve seen, and some that is still to come.)

Like Prince Charles: Objectively weird looking, yet also still somehow kind of nice-looking. A sort of Schroedinger’s Cat of attractiveness -- you just can’t say whether they’re foxy or repulsive, the waveform hasn’t collapsed yet.

They definitely took the look of a prep-school asshole and tweaked it into pure ridiculousness. Those too-short boat shorts. Those skinny sweater sleeves. Even the actor himself is just a hair too skinny and greasy to fit the archetype.

There was a certain category of Christmasness that used to drive me nuts as a wee kiddie, and it can roughly be described as “Stuff that looks like a wonderful opportunity and but you can’t touch it.”

I really struggled with cooking in my cast iron pan until I learned the secret mentioned in this very article: “You need to get it hot first, doofus.”

I really struggled with cooking in my cast iron pan until I learned the secret mentioned in this very article: “You…

Piers is such a perfect example of this phenomenon too.

“Look, you’re removing someone’s kid from your lobby in a way that won’t earn you backlash from people with normal levels of empathy. Do you get it yet?”

There’s enough sugar in these, I’m pretty sure they’d still work with a straight swap of lemon juice for orange juice. It’ll have more bite, but that’s normal for anything with lemon in it; I’d think these would still be sweet enough.

HMM. There would be enough egg (and sugar) in this that I could probably get away with using gluten-free flour.

I know clicks count, but that’s hardly a slam, when you read her full statement.

You can do better than that with AirBnB-style condo rentals, and I’m sure there are a lot of investment property owners in Hawaii also pretty desperate to bring in some income in the absence of tourists. It still wouldn’t be cheap, but it might be cheap enough.

It’s got to depend on the person too.

Heck, the dinosaurs laid eggs. Definitely egg first.