You have to have at least 20 pieces of flair at all times

Generally, people who make grand, expensive gestures are the worst at actually doing the hard, unglamorous work of making a relationship work.

I don’t get why they married (so fast) in the first place. It’s not like they need the tax break or a family health care plan or were saving themselves for marriage.

I feel like a review of a review is basically long internet comment. Which would make this comment some sort of entrance to a wormhole.

Hold the fort. I see exactly what this is. Don’t you remember the chick from Real Housewives of DC and her husband who crashed the White House dinner? She’s now married to the guitarist from Journey...

The biggest failing of poptimism (or rockism) is the assumption that any piece of art deserves more or less consideration because of how vast—or how little—its reach.

Indycars look silly and bulky, like a fat guy a a Tron costume. F1 cars look like a demented muppet, named Ecclestone the Flatulent, taped a bunch of dragonflies together and stuffed an old Pontiac v6 into the mess.

They went out on their own terms. it’s female empowerment but only because they stopped letting themselves get walked on, they made the final decision of how to go out. It’s not an optimistic movie but it’s not really a pessimistic movie either. They literally got to blow up the patriarchy a little bit, but there’s no…

Self-determination. You go out on your own terms without regret, and go out in a spectacular crash after a modest crime wave, because you are tired of a system that is going to keep you down and there is no silver lining for you. There is no viable way out. Or “because F you, that’s why.”

Gwen does not need to be birthing no babies with Blake Shelton. Girl no. She needs to birth a better album, either solo or with No Doubt. And then maybe people will buy tickets for her tour.

What kind of monster doesn’t shut off those goddamn iphone clicks?

Nope. Already a star after Risky Business (3 years earlier)

I think a biker gang is missing its treasurer.

OMG around Christmas time one of the old lady clubs in my town hosts open houses where they decorate 4 - 6 not quite mansions for the holiday and people get to tour them... it’s kind of fun to see how the other side lives for a few hours... anyway last year I went with my grandmother, my aunt, and my 26 year old…

What? And destroy their full-body immersive experience in exploring the wonders of the world with their sticky little paws? Seriously, I used to work in a museum and saw plenty of kids that were old enough to know better grabbing at plants and taxidermy mounts like they were in a damn store. If I went up to them and…

After story line after story line of how awful parenthood was, my husband and I pretty much never thought we’d procreate. After an unplanned pregnancy, I’m so incredibly happy for the gift that is my son and am pissed that no one told me how farking fun parenthood is!

My parents were middle-class throughout my childhood. I think they stayed sane by letting me walk to school, and by not making me play sports.

Never mind the foil, it’s rose petal-ginger-jalapeno-tequila flavored. That’s like a taste of something coming back up. So, no.

if I can’t go United, I don’t go*