“If Mackenzie Were Alive Today, I’d Like To Think She’d Be A Stoolie” - by Dave Portnoy

Me: *clicks on headline*
Me: *Ctrl-F*
Me: *searches father’s name*
Me: *searches father’s email address*
Me: *breathes a small sigh of relief*

Or the Madlib theory when they [verb] a bunch of [plural noun] all [preposition] a [place.]

I was never any good at athletics. But I was active Army from age 17 to 21. Spending your formative years in a situation where there are meaningful consequences for tardiness both puts you ahead of your peers and makes their behavior completely unrelatable.

So I see the possibilities are endless.

Kid Rock once rhymed Yzerman with Heineken. 

I don’t care what he does to that salad, Andy’s more of a wings guy.

I would’ve at least expected Tim Ream to be caught out of position on this question.

How very soccer to have the result of the request for comment be nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil-nil.

Todd Frazier’s dad was my high school principal. He’s a really wonderful guy who always treated me with good humor and kindness, even though I was in trouble at least once a week. One day after a particularly inexcusable incident, my father was sitting in Mr. Frazier’s office with me, and they discussed my pitiful…

Are you talking about Beck’s rod?

H/t Mike

...or as Don Cherry would say: “A tough kid from Ontario.” 

He’ll be fine, Denver's the perfect place to spark up a Bol.

blood pressure rising.  vision fading

The best course would have been to just throw everybody’s keys into a punchbowl and see who goes home with who.

“I totally meant the sexism, but not the homophobia. And for that, I feel so full of....what’s the opposite of proud?”

Well if I don’t understand it, I certainly can’t expect a jury to get it right.

The thing is, you can regain your swagger playing Chinese basketball, but you lose all your confidence again an hour later.

I can’t speak to the legitimacy of the Bennett photo, but I do know this picture is real and it pisses me off. Really, though, we all kind of secretly knew.