My dear Ms. Trendacosta,

I don’t know, this seems like a pretty clever ad to me.

I believe the proper system is to bury your socks with a woman’s used pads and tampons. I mean, between the two of them, there’s the materials to add up to a baby, right?

I told someone on Twitter that y’all like that he tells it like it is but forget we can too. Just because I choose to not be an asshole to marginalized people don’t mean my gloves won’t come off quick.

I was on a date with a woman and we were talking about how I take antidepressants. She asked if I’d tried “healing my depression through alternative medicine”. I told her, “no, because if I tried ‘healing my depression’ through ‘alternative medicine’ my next step would be painting the walls with my brains.” I have…

I’ve been a bit surprised by the reaction to Doctor Phil. Like, this was the final straw? When did people hear about Dr. Phil? Yesterday? He’s been a piece of shit for a long, long time. Whatever other gifts she has, Oprah has consistently shown herself to be a fairly poor judge of character.

Dress is Versailles ugly

It’s like the Borgias, right down to the creepy daughter loving part.

Take some comfort in this - The president is legally barred from hiring or appointing family members (including in-laws) to positions in the Executive Branch.

And yet no one has a problem with Telltale games, which are basically just interactive animated movies where your input doesn’t matter and the engine runs like shit.

Think of them as point-and-click adventure games without the (often unclear or illogical) inventory puzzles.

DAMN YOU JOHN LEGEND AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SONG ABOUT LOVE. I was doing a pretty good job of holding it together until I watched this damn music video. Ugh for the love of crock pots my face is LEAKING. 😩

Actually I was expecting this for the rest of the Gawkerteriat…

What are you talking about?

nah

His #1 priority right now is trying to get the Inaugural Ball on a Trump Property so he can make some coin off of it.

Throughout the campaign, Trump flew back to NYC nearly every single night because he can’t stand sleeping away from Trump Tower. Now he’s got to spend four years in Washington. He hates this.

“So you have no plans for the job and no desire to do it, eh? Fuck yeah you’re hired.”

Don Diaper | Sterling Pooper