My brother in law (early 20's) wants to be a car guy but has no idea how to turn a wrench and has no interest in learning. He recently gave us a ride from the airport in his Mazda 3. There were so many noises coming from that thing that I wasn’t sure it was going to last the 20 minute drive.

Me too and I regularly have to review postmortem pictures.

Psst, not all states have inspections. 

The Geely Gonorrhea 

This is Roadkill nights, not a sanctioned drag race event. See also, no times as mentioned in the article

Somehow, the Thunderbird was totaled.

... the Model 3 is a level of perfection that other midsized cars can only hope to achieve.

Exactly, it’s like expecting the sleeves not to fall off on a $1000 suit. Ridiculous.

Ram when swamped.*

One of these friends, it turned out, had recently been fired from his job at a FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL for fucking a student.

Dad?

Did you know if you show up in the middle of the night with a slim jim, you can get a car for free?

No it isn’t.

You forgot the following:

A) This is much better than that POS rat mod rx-7 that hipster kid destroyed.

True. Also the pressure and depressure times mean it isn’t that much faster than normal.

There an oil dolly underneath the car.

I did see an Astro with ghost flames and rims with a “BADASSTRO” emblem. I have a picture somewhere. This gives me ideas.

Torch’s nuts.

Son of a bitch. I had already found this picture after looking at the title and just finished reading through.