Given that she’s a Penguins fan, it’s unfortunate she won’t be able to read this article. There are at least 6 words she won’t understand.

Doing his bed Sidney Crosby impression! Goal-scorer, dick Slasher!

A slash because of the motion? I mean he’s not shoving his stick into the guy’s balls like a spear, but I’m not sure what else you call a sharp upward motion of the stick blade between his legs. Either way. Goddamit, Bradley.

Amen. You like to think he’s passed this shit. But of course, he isn’t.

Years from now I’ll get to tell my grandchildren about watching this, and seeing parking enforcement FINALLY approach the car!

Crosby will never not get away with everything.

As a Bruins fan living in Colorado, I generally don’t care about the already-usually-fairly-priced flights to Vegas we see from DEN-LAS. But now? Now I’ve got a reason to think about going to Vegas. I can see the Bruins twice a year!

...Goolies?

This is fine.

Now I have to live with the fact that I re-watched a Youtube video for the sole purpose of looking for a robot scrotum. Thanks for that. Thanks.

Except that it’s not. It never is. If only it were! According to RAINN, 70% of sexual abuse comes from someone the victim knows.

It would make sense that someone with the screen name of “radical idealist” rolls in with finger pointed ready to blame the victim. Only you know the solution! If only everyone else did!…

Which is odd, because literally every single time I’ve seen it whistled as illegal is when there’s ANY contact with a player as the defender jumps over the line of scrimmage. It’s never been for landing on another player. It’s always for making any contact as one jumps over the line.

...but all variants run a 2.5-liter four-cylinder engine with 187 horsepower and a six-speed automatic transmission.

Mmmm tastes like salt.

Logano is in the clear. Busch is just a douchenozzle.

Not only a huge asshole, but everything that happens is someone else’s fault. Everything is a personal slight. The guy is a massive douchecanoe.

But Denzel only plays Denzel. By definition he’s only one note because he can only play himself.

It is so weird to me that people take basketball seriously. And I mean no disrespect by this. I don’t mean to say basketball is bad or people that like it are stupid or anything of the sort. Certainly there are things I like and love that other people don’t understand. Simply commenting on the fact that it’s…

Will they put a Turbo in this one? Or does it still come with the garbage standard motor?

Man, I was near in love with this thing until I got a look at it broadside. From the C-Post back is just godawful.