Think back to your elementary school days, when you made a baking soda volcano at the science fair and all the adults pretended that they were impressed.

Dude put one of his companies’ cars into space atop of one of his companies’ rockets. What have you done lately?

nah. 

a couple of weeks ago I made a grilled cheese sandwich for the first time in decades. I don’t mean one of those artsy-fartsy goat feta and camembert on 7 grain flax bread sandwiches, I mean an american cheese on buttered white bread one I used to have regularly when I was a kid. 

Others, however, say that alcohol is bad for plants.

for as liberal as Hollywood’s reputation is today, back in the day they were incredibly exclusionary (and downright racist.) There’s reasons few people know who Louis Feinberg, Moses Horwitz, Jerome Horwitz, and Amos Muzyad Kairouz are.

eye makeup to turn a Spaniard into a Japanese guy.

as dumb as I think “reaction” videos on YT are, they’re just being weebs and copying what Japanese TV shows have been doing for a long time (“waipu.”)

You’re right, but I think what you may be overlooking is the fact that Americans really can’t be trusted to make reasonable decisions anymore.

but but but I might eat something that isn’t perfectly balanced according to some Internet Person!

I love pizza, but I’m not going to pretend it’s healthy.

Because technically bell peppers, eggplant, olives, and tomatoes are all fruits.

While the calorie contents and macronutrient ratios are useful to know, I really hate the “scaremongering” way they’re thrown around. “OMG THAT PIZZABURGER HAS 30 GRAMS OF FAT I CAN FEEL EVERYONE’S ARTERIES CLOGGING FROM HERE!”

yeah, because they couldn’t POSSIBLY have had more than one motivation.  Nope, in your black and white world there’s only one option. 

why?  The Simpsons got stale well over a decade ago.  This is Yet Another “Lisa Meets Someone New and the Show Becomes One Big Lecture” (YALMSNatSBOBL) episode like so many previous. 

Have they resigned themselves to going natural like Kylie?

I’ve completely binged The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon.  It was totally not what I was expecting. 

my perspective is probably horribly skewed since I didn’t go to one single school dance ever. 

if I had gone to prom, I’d have hoped I could have done better than Olive Garden.