Also the best soccer quote of all time.

I don’t like violence, but if my mother’s tales of the 60s are to be believed, sometimes you have to burn a few cop cars to make an omelette.

So, this was what “locker room talk” refers to.

Someone needs to stop the radicalization of this country’s straight white males to radical Christianity, hallmarked by unfocused rage and repressed desire for dick-in-butt

Delaware isn’t even a real place. It only exists when someone from out of state is there to physically observe it...and then...it only exists for that person.

Why do I imagine these guys, who engage in sexual content with their male teammates, would yell “FAGS” at two men they see holding hands? 

Sounds like I got the short end of the stick in high school. Or shafted. None of this awesome stuff happened to me. What a shit deal. I’m all pissy now.

Can we start a petition to change the name of the high school to Donald J. Trump High School? Their mascot can be an Orange Donkey.

Why is it that every time these big tough macho football players haze each other, they always have their dicks exposed?

Came here to say that. +1

When the child’s parents spoke with then-assistant coach and dean of students Chad Beaver, the Lake Zurich employee is reported to have told them the incident was “not a big deal.” Adding that players peeing on each other “happens all the time” and saying, “even I got peed on in high school. As a matter of fact,…

The lawsuit was borne of an alleged incident that occurred in September 2016, when, according to the lawsuit, members of the Lake Zurich football team forced a teammate to strip naked and stand in the shower while they urinated on him; the suit states that at least 14 teammates watched.

oh so these are the guys Gruden was referring to when he said geniuses were ruining the game right

I can never understand the HS jock/bully mentality of “What are looking at queer? Now put this in your butthole while I pee on you.”

That’s a great pull. Unfortunately, Brietbart doesn’t cite sources.

Laremy Tunsil nods approvingly

He was fined $93 AND got sent to Florida?! Penalties are getting so much harsher than they have to be.

Or Darren Rovell, so we can get more awkward moments like this:

I’ve told this story here before but here goes. Ted Cruz is an utter dick in real life. We lived in the same area and shopped at the same Walgreens. He was with one of his daughters, who was dressed in p.j.’s and crying. He was yelling at her to hurry up. She tripped and fell and he left her behind to go to another…

Bernie: “All people in America should have affordable healthcare!”