That said, the following are all real:

bear
ever
national
governing body
have
a process
Zwift
I HAVE TO LEAVE AGAIN

“This is exactly how you win a game, just run every play. Keep ‘em guessing because they’re gonna expect you to throw it eventually, but they’ll be wrong.”

Gruden: Why so early, boss?

5am? My Lord that’s early. I can just picture Snyder there in his office, across from a barely awake Gruden, stirring his coffee with a sleeve of gatorade cups.

I was eating while the skins game was playing on the TV in the other room  I heard a huge cheer and I assumed the skins did something good  I was wrong, the bears had scored  

So under the banner of being “patriots” they feel entitled to overwhelm and displace the redskins from their native land, big surprise.

It certainly is drawing attention in China:

How does China feel about the NBA’s tanking problem?

That tweet was so moderate and banal. Of course China, being huge Rockets fans, couldn’t identify an offensive foul.

he offered to go get ice cream with the kid to patch things up.

I’m holding out for Freedom Cobra

Greg McElroy said on the ABC broadcast that he has only seen this once before, Michigan State in 2010 against Alabama in the Capital One Bowl. He remembers it “vividly” and “Kirk Cousins was the quarterback.” (It was in 2011.)

Surprised you didn’t lede with this. Tragic but great local photo. That’s Ivana Habazin holding her unconscious trainer.

I firmly toed the line about Kershawnot being shitty but rather the playoffs being too small a sample size, to the extent I nearly got fired from a job for telling my San-Francisco-Giants-fan boss that if you use the same logic the greatest quarterback in history is Phil Simms.

This is the exact line I used when I asked my wife to marry me.

If any country was going to have a twin-scored goal...

Good thing he is not playing, if that spleen blows it could take out half the Philadelphia metropolitan area.

“What happens after that is fucking Luck.” - Andrew’s fiance, upon being asked what she plans to do after their wedding reception.

there is a huge gulf of difference between forcing your personal tastes on others, and trying to be an activist for labor rights

Any excuse to post this. Just a reminder that when he’s not performing his warped version of “big, strong boy,” Trump’s authentic self is a giant fucking coward.