"Awww, OMG, look at that little guy! He's so darn cute! Is he flying with you?"

If by average you mean the man to Yao's left, he has a doctorate in quantum mechanics, speaks 9 languages and is an accomplished cellist. If I'm mistaken and you're referring to the man behind Yao, that's Century 21 agent Jeff Whittels of Boca Raton, Fl, and he only sold three homes in the last calendar year. That is…

I haven't seen that big of a dump taken on a field since the Super Bowl.

It's ridiculous there is no foosball and if you spin you are worse than Hitler.

Dammit, Ed, this just seems like a huge waste of money. Incredibly, incredibly reckless behavior on your part...

Honestly I wanted him to win and retire like a champ.

This is nightmare fuel.

As with most other things in Sochi, those burgers were assembled only three days ago.

1.5 seconds is all I need.

"I hope you're proud of yourself for watching that whole thing just to see a combined 1.5 seconds of nipple."

You know what else hasn't seen action since 1997?

THUG

Hmm, maybe they could make it out of wood or concrete next time and put some wheels on the bottoms of their snowboards or something.

So let me get this straight... You and your boyfriend live 3000 miles away from each other yet you still take the time to wear matching running outfits? Now that's what I call commitment.

Interesting. I wonder what basketball would look like in New York.

Shouldn't Stewart be sporting the "C" on his jersey?

And you're borderline illiterate, apparently.

Ooh! Though he doesn't have the forehead for it, next have Beaker synced up to Peyton screaming "Omaha"!

"So does this mean we don't get pizza?"