Guess what?

It's the Saturday afternoon game. CU and North Texas are on ESPN2.

That's seriously childish.

I just wish the two screens were merged together and there wasn't that crack in the middle.

Seriously—Sundays would be better if we only had to watch the fucking car drive on top of the subway car 10 times instead of 40. Or the kid running away from the dad eating a taco.

To say nothing of the fact that there is no STEM shortage and that computer science salaries have not kept pace with the rise in salaries in other fields.

Kids are also Wade-ing, where they remove all the cartilage from their knees, only show up to 50% of the school days, and stay in class after all the other kids have left to argue grades.

Does Tom Brady even own a single Papa Johns?!

But if you have 10-6 and the flop is 10-10-6, it's impossible for someone else to have 10-10.

Jennifer Tilly. This has the duel advantage of displaying both a huge tell, and one of the worst plays you can see.

If J.R. wants to change his image, maybe he should stop hanging around known criminals like the Hamburglar.

Ugh. Deadspin humor at its absolute worst.

Police Academy gave every child of the 80's a stock name for a gay bar.

Well, it's a more subtle trap than last week's poll:

Who dat? You dat team that's 2-7 the last nine times you've played the Seahawks, and who got rolled the last time you came into Century Link. Good luck with your noise-cancelling earbuds, they worked great the last time you used them.

Thanks for doing this Dan.

Now I have to go jerk off again. And, I just finished skinning the flute about 5 minutes ago. Thanks for that...damnit.