So you took your date to a Christian movie and expected to get laid? 

Wouldn’t an unusual result be him passing his drug test?

sounds like you do know what it was supposed to say

NOT LIKE THIS, MARTY!!!!!!

His legacy is winning a national title as a freshman at Syracuse. 

AKA a timeless classic

Not a fair comparison.  Lebron was on that roster.

ellen the generous

 It's actually more like an asshole swallowing itself

If they want to boost sales they should probably try putting some software on it that’s not a port. I know Smash is coming but that’s still one game.

...this incredibly stupid league decision.

I can’t speak about LoL, but HotS has the worst bots in all of MOBA gaming.

This is great. Can’t wait until tomorrow. Rooting for Hook on FighterZ, but also for SonicFox of course. I’m in love with that game and both of them are my fav players!

Ohio State Football: “Man, what a terrible day.”

First of all, I said explicitly that I don’t know much about Thompson. So I didn’t know that about him.

I don’t know much about Tristan Thompson, but I know enough about Draymond Green to know that Thompson was totally right, and I’m 100% on his side, and he absolutely won the fight.

This is wheelie sad news.

Counterpoint: That’s just like, your opinion man.

Big deal. I call the shots that make me unconscious every night at the bar.

I think you’re missing the point/joke Mr. Serious.