So...what you’re saying is...you want this new version to look like the old version. Then what’s the point? They’re obviously (although not to you) going for a real world look. The real world isn’t saturated in color, dumbholes. I swear, does EVERYONE HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING? Slow news day? I’m sure…

I dunno....

“But most interesting of the postgame quotes was safety and defensive leader D.J. Swearinger, who took the heat off McCoy by putting it all on his side of the ball.

True story: I got to interview Udonis Haslem after the Heat’s first title in the LeBron era and he has two separate RIP tattoos on his neck and is borderline one of the scariest dudes I’ve ever met. With that being said, he donates a ton of his time to youth organizations and couldn’t have been more accommodating to…

“He a bitch.” -Udonis Haslem picking his dog up from the vet

Plus one octopus falling out of a tree. 

Part of me says Markelle Fultz is pulling some next level shit on the rest of the league—you know, that whole “those guys are playing checkers and Fultz is playing chess” deal. But, actually they’re playing basketball and he sucks at that.

Fultz wanted some tips from a former Sixer, so he looked up some footage of Barkley... playing golf.

Goddamn snowflakes. Everybody knows a REAL man blames others for his own failures!

since when does espn apologize for people having shitty takes?

Do James Carvilles unhook their jaws when they eat oysters?

I’m sure he saves the bikini+gun ones just for himself.

All those creepy pictures of Gun Girl are taken by her dad, by the way.

If I were Jacob’s mom, I’d probably be thinking that abortion should be an unquestioned universal human right.

If I was Jacob’s mom I’d be fleeing the country. 

If I was Jacob’s mom I would be disowning him right this minute.

Of course she exists. Would a fake person have a website at www. jacobsmom/witness/Karolinne/Cass.com

Not this liberal...

Some liberals might try to tell you that you shouldn’t have made fun of dude about his fly being unzipped but they’re wrong. Being incompetent losers who can’t even zip their pants up is a huge part of why these people are attracted to fascism in the first place. And while publicly shaming them for being incompetent…

The fact that the two of them soldiered on with their press conference in light of the incredibly amazing internet drubbing they got yesterday is honestly hysterical and sad at the same time. This is what happens when a 20-year-old has already gone through a major legal proceeding and got off with a slap on the wrist.…