Matt Harvey seems unhappy about his new role within the organization.

big idiot’s beef

This beef has nothing to do with dongers.

How proud I was to promote the kangaroo tail throughout the world

This is what happens after years of spaying and neutering.

Plus, I’m sure some people in Toronto would get confused with Drake and Lonzo in the same arena.

If Hannity died I would be extremely upset that I couldn’t ever again experience the joy of hearing that he’s dead.

Irving’s handle is probably better than anyone else in the NBA...

The jokes on Votto. That Indians fan was never thin.

Everyone else was busy ignoring the Padres.

What percentage of people masturbate for the last time realizing they are doing so?

I heard that he also dated Lennay Kekua before Manti Te’o did. 

I am truly a peaceful man, but once I am provoked I become an animal.

That thing where you really just wanted to tell everyone that you wrestle.

Also enraged was his other brother Dirrell.

“DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM??!”

Maybe he misunderstood when they asked him to come into the box.

details of how exactly he fell are not known

This absolutely does not make up for Chris Cornell.