Pretty sure it was Nietzsche...

Creme eggs are garbage, but Mini Eggs are awesome.

Paris Hilton was an omen none of us heeded. 

Irrefutable proof!

I prefer the Karen Coalition. They vow to speak to as many managers as it takes to make sure everyone else is as miserable as they are. 

Dammit, you chucklefuck, your intentions were perfectly clear. You wanted to hurt and embarrass a total stranger because some stray gross impulse darted across your lizard brain and being a white male, you never even thought to resist or question it. You honestly expected her to find that funny or at least “laugh it…

Neither part of his name makes sense anymore. He should call himself Middle Aged Man Indeterminate Music Genre.

Trevor Cadbury was unavailable for comment. 

I would watch the hell out of Craig Ferguson doing this.

Rhyming “down there” with “down there” is a sign that he has the soul of a true poet.

Well, you see, he said “white powder,” after his favorite Columbian dancing powder. 😉 

Nonsense. Melania knows how to raise children. After all, the greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she may not harm, nor allow by inaction to come to harm, a human being. The second-greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she must obey all orders given to her by a human being, unless such orders would…

“Koonye”

Maybe, but you’d really have to reduce the good looks in two of them for them to play Robin and Maurice. The genes in that family spread out in some peculiar ways.

Say what you will about the Bee Gees, but Barry Gibb could write the fuck out of a pop song.

I mean, Gawkier was right there.

How is this related to sports? You guys should stick to sports...

Believing in imaginary beings is a mental illness. That’s why mentally ill people, addicts, and people with brain damage are the ones that most “find religion”. https://www.salon.com/2019/01/08/a-link-between-brain-damage-and-religious-fundamentalism-has-now-been-established-by-scientists_partner/

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

MLB instructed the home team to wear alternate jerseys so the president is the only obvious white national in the stadium.