Girls

don’t forget that the unheated garage is a giant freezer for the slushy and the pies. it is probably colder than your actual freezer. Green bean casserole is a must and your stash of cleaned and stacked kool-whip containers from last year are the take home tupperware for the younger guests that have not saved up for…

why mess with perfection. Canned for life.

So help me God,  I'm rooting for a fire now? Fuck it. Go Fire! 

It's a fucking radio. Change the station, you don't live in North Korea.

I’d rather hear Wonderful Christmastime 1,000 times before hearing Merry Xmas (War Is Over) once.

(Luckily both are on my parents’ Christmas mix CD back-to-back!)

Why have plus-size women modeling their clothes if they don't even sell clothes for plus-size people?

It needs to have every. single. Ron Miller produced film from $1,000,000,000 Duck to Midnight Madness. 

My husband & I went out for tacos and our very little baby puked all over. It was the first and only time he ever puked copiously. We were both shocked and dumbstruck and didn’t know what to do. Chris Cornell was sitting next to us with friends and just smiled at us because we were both like, “oh god this is so…

The most feels I’ve ever gotten from an actual hit song was from “Somebody That I Used to Know”: “You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.” It’s incredibly simple, but as someone who’s battled depression as well as a couple rounds of unrequited “love” in my younger days, it hits close to home.

Possum Kingdom by The Toadies seems like low-hanging fruit, but here it is anyway -

Get Joshua Jackson. Let him play Charlie from the original Mighty Ducks movies. He is now in the Gordon Bombay role and is forced to coach little league hockey team. He’s over it until he gets a visit from his old coach Gordon, who is now in the Hans role from the movies. Throw in one or two charismatic kid leads and…

I’ve met/seen/bumped into more celebrities than I can count and unless I’m actually at an event/meal/hangout type thing (where interaction is acceptable) I follow “New York code” and presume they’re living their lives and ignore them like I would any other New Yorker.

i hope to be buried with my whirley pop

i hope to be buried with my whirley pop

Depends on what’s going on. Respiratory: hot clear liquids until I slosh (tea, chicken broth (from a kosher deli or homemade), hot water with honey and something very acidic), fruit juice and Mucinex. Gastrointestinal: tea and toast, crackers, rice, water, homemade Pedialyte if necessary.

Ironically, my sister likes to supplement Easter Ham with turkey.

I make turkey year-round as well...half turkey breasts are amazing in the slow cooker.

Women aren’t a minority. They’re the majority of voters for all age groups. It’s just that white women are white before they’re women.

I would worry about my knife hitting the sides of the metal sheet pan.

My review of Bohemian Rhapsody: