FUCK YEAH, YOU LITTLE GEN Y SHITS.

Do people know about Kanopy?

I called a flight attendant to clamp down on some stupid woman painting her fingernails across the aisle from me on a flight, so you better bet I’m gonna call the proper authorities(!) about dining room diaper changes! Pee-yew.

In that case... you’re wrong

That upper compartment in the supermarket shopping cart is literally DESIGNED FOR SMALL CHILDREN TO SIT IN

That’s why they put the leg holes in it.

It’s not intended for merchandise, it’s built as a child seat

My Thanksgiving go-to dessert has been cranberry-blueberry pie. I don’t have the recipe handy but I believe that the filling is made thusly:

The Pirate Movie! Had it on vinyl. Still love that cheesy flick.

Written by Jim Steinman! The Mozart of Epic Schlock Rock!! I mean that with love and affection. This song is one of his best.

I wore out that Lost Boys tape.

A class act all the way!

A new-mom friend of mine tries to tell me this weekend that baby poop isn’t “really poop” until they start eating solid foods.

To paraphrase the Belcher kids on Bob’s Burgers, Cash is just candy waiting to be born.

I hope Gwen Ihnat’s neighbors read this and give her kids extra candy.

I hope, for your kids sake, that they have grandparents that foil your plans.

Cash always trumps candy.

seems like you’re the one with the issue, not the kids.

There are certain streaming services that don’t know their audience. Shudder is not one of those services. 

If the girl you were talking to didn’t want her friend cockblocking, she wouldn’t be. If a woman’s friend “cockblocks” it usually means that the woman wants to get away from you but you aren’t taking the hint and she’s afraid you’ll turn nasty if she directly rejects you.

Petty move by a guy who’s made a lot of questionable life choices but what the hell, I think it’s funny as shit and I applaud his moxie. 

Or ... I don’t know ... just don’t do drugs? Yes, yes, an employer shouldn’t have any say what you do in your personal life, but I also don’t want to have a druggie driver drive kids to school. So if the job requires a drug test and you’re a drug user - either quit your habit, or look for a different job.

“If it seems like I am picking and choosing the parts I like from this book here, it’s because I very much am.”