<crashes through the wall>
I HATH COME FOR THE COMMUNITY REFERENCE

Real fans call him Dave.

We must go forwards, not backwards! Upwards, not forwards! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

“A bucket and a mop! I could see one or the other, but both! My word.”

How is "oh my god, they are using bad words in a song" still a thing?

This song cost them 1/8 the budget of the whole season.

Already cannon:

I searched for the word “community” in my browser, found a match, got excited, then, well——

I read this as Kevin Conroy at first and I've rarely been so happy to realize a mistake. 

I trust her guidance in this because she definitely seems like someone who shops for her own groceries and has worked hard to determine which brand of beans makes the dishes she prepares as good as can be.

This fucking sucks. I went to high school with Grant, and he was one of those people who literally never said or did a single thing that wasn’t kind or thoughtful. When he made it big, doing the weirdly brilliant stuff he loved, I was happy, because it meant the world was working the way it was supposed to: greatly…

The Washington Human Beings

You can eat my dog,
You can eat my truck,
But you eat my flag and you’re out of luck!
She’s a’wavin’ proud around the world,
From Dallas to Ft. Worth,
Let me say it again...
Don’t mess with Earth!
... don’t-mess-with-Earth.
Kill Zoidberg!

Lots of the “it’s not pedophilia it’s ephebophilia” brigade in the comments today.

No repercussions? So he can only play the drums one time?

Okay, so while I get what you are getting at, in wrestling the two performers must work together and enhance each other in order to produce the best possible match.

Oh, are we honoring hundred year old government agreements with the people?!

Man, the Six Flags guy is really in a bad place. And by that I mean Poland.

I know I speak for the entire AV Club when I say we are all SO sorry that you had to find out this way, seeing how close you were. Condolences.