You’re a letter out.

Plus, you can ingest your weekly sodium recommended dietary allowance in a convenient single slice format.

What the fuck dude? The toilet is right there. Just pee into the toilet. How the fuck do you get piss on your pants when you’re peeing sitting down? In your buttcrack? I don’t believe this for a second. Is your dick shaped like a giant U that points right back up your butt? No, no it is not.

I’m all for ordering pizza, it’s highly superior, but the good stuff can be costly. When it comes to frozen pizza, my criterion is:

Ham and butter sandwiches are definitely A Thing. My grandma used to make them, and “jambon beurre” sandwiches are found in basically every sandwich shop in France.

“You’ll be fine to start next week. Take two pills and call me in th- actually, give me those, just drink some water and you’ll be fine.”

Why do you hate America?

Big talk from a guy who guy who’s built a career around encouraging shooters.

Also, Ivanka may be using vocabulary flashcards, but she has to hold them at crotch level.

He used the word “apoplectic.” Someone is writing these for him.

Trump absolutely does not know the word “apoplectic”....

Are you homeless and/or Jim Tomusula? Who the fuck brings a cup of soup to a bar?

At least spell Ivy right in this rant for fucks sake.

This post reads like you’ve been taking some of those very challenging UNC classes

I’m sure you must all feel very proud that your basketball team got off essentially because it was found that your entire university was revealed to be a fraud and not just it’s athletic department.

UNC student-athletes will be thrilled once someone reads this story to them.

Yeah, but in context, Weiters has been crowding the batter zone all series. Happ hit him on a backswing. In the same inning as this, he interfered with a swing.

Hey, Sasse, did you vote for the stolen SCOTUS pick? Oh, you did. Fuck you.

There are guys like this walking around, and fucking Rudy is the guy they make a movie out of.