My face is already quite punchable.

Unless you’re Josh Hamilton. Then you’re just satisfied with actual crack

I love the responses from the DS staff dismissing all of the push back. I mean, fuck your reader base, right?

Fucking Podcast? I will be wasting my time at work today by coming back here and starring every comment bashing this.

For two guys who shat all over Bill Simmons for his many, many faults, you sure seem to be following a similar writing trajectory ...

So a podcast is replacing the printed Funbag? When did Simmons take over as Deadspin editor?

i had to put my sad dick away at the end

I think maybe we’re a groundhog’s day situation. I’m going to grab a toaster and get in the tub to test out the theory.

And then promptly voted out the Supreme Court justices who so ruled. So, no, Iowa doesn’t get any points, you lose, thanks for playing.

we get it, you want to be different by showing a foreign language clip. please stop, it’s annoying and the novelty wore off a long time ago.

That you Leaf?

The kids on the playground will be singing “Deen, Deen, rape machine, biggest creep we’ve ever seen,”

It’s not like he had anything else keeping him busy in October.

yeah you definitely don’t want a closer known for choking.

Jerry Jones has now entered trade talks with the Reds.

“We want the ball and dinner before 5:00 p.m.!”

Try armed rebellion in 2015 and see how long that shit lasts. The U.S. government would turn even a well-armed militia into Swiss cheese before Joe Blow’s first shell casing hit the ground. This argument is pathetically weak.

Mediocre? MEDIOCRE?

Mediocre? You. You’re fuckin’ out! Kenny should be one of the floating heads on the main page.

I choose to caulk my Jeep and attempt to ford the river