Siri, show me the exact opposite of a hustle triple. 

Belichick is letting him on the plane but reports today were that he will not be allowed on the sidelines. Don’t know if Brady saw that quack back block coming.

I’d suggest setting up harsher penalties for head hunting (we generally know when somebody is doing it on purpose). Maybe suspend a starter for 10 games so they miss two starts. A reliever misses five games. I don’t know. To a certain point, some guys will get hit on purpose, but the penalties will be severe enough…

For the same reason you don’t automatically lose your license if you get into a fender bender. Accidents happen, especially when you’re hurling a baseball harder than man was intended to throw near, but not at somebody 60 feet away. Players might start leaning in to any inside pitch whenever an ace was on a roll,…

“Either that or there’s something else about Serena Williams that he thinks doesn’t “respect the game and the place.” But what could it be???”

Nadal, Federer, and Djokovic should show up in catsuits next year.

My hot preseason take is that NFL preseason should be 100% open scheduling. Teams decide who they play and how many games they play, with no minimum or maximum. If the Superbowl champs want to skip it entirely, they can. If the Browns want to play 8 preseason games and can find enough teams willing to play them in…

“The human body can do truly crazy things!”

It seems impractical to learn this routine, but I promise you that this is exactly how Shawn Bradley gets kicked in the face someday. It will be mean and completely undeserved...but damn if it won’t look cool as hell.

That’s nothing. One time, after a night of particularly heavy drinking, I managed to vomit everywhere in my bathroom without so much as a drop making it into the toilet.

One time my brother threw a quarter 20 feet into the toll tray for the car in front of him because the guy was short 25 cents.

Unlike the Browns OL Coach, I can see you’re a huge fan of stretching.

20-25 percent of NFL players are able to come back

Did someone say, “blowout” and “jets”?!

The towel was immediately crushed out of the park for a grand slam.

A live look at the victim:

You might remember Gabrielle Union from the banana boat, which is now in Jimmy Butler’s pocket.

He was triple out. Forced, tagged, left the baseline. Only thing left is to be on the cover of Out magazine next month.

Zlatan isn’t washed up; washing up is Zlataned.