Totally missed the opportunity to rearrange the letters into ANAL TIN POT.

Bucks added Mirotic for zero rotation players one day after they dropped 50 in a quarter and 148 in the game. Nobody is stopping this offense.

Let’s remember some Sixtos!

Talk firmly to the cut until it stops bleeding.

That’s cool I cut my hand on my plastic starbucks lid and bled all over my khakis.

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

[LaVar Ball emerges from the woods]

That’s straight-up Roger Rabbit Dip.

I’m gonna tell you right now, my man, just DON’T click through on the upcoming, “Brady and Belichick came THIIIIIS close to docking.” For your own good.

Sounds like you’re just jealous you didn’t get to smooch Bob Kraft too.

You tell him!

Super Bowl XOXO

Rudy got interviewed for a feature while getting a pedicure and has a lightning bolt etched into his hair. He doesn’t give a fuck what Ballkicker & Permanent Veteran’s Minimum Injury Insurance Claim thinks.

He’s got the best win shares in the league, lost a spot to Russ’s bricks, and missed out a bonus that’s 46% of…

If, On The Other Hand, You’ve Been Waiting All These Years To See Bobby Hurley Eat Some Shit Off A Basketball Court, Congratulations, You Forgot That His NBA Career Was Derailed Nineteen Games Into His Rookie Year When He Got T-Boned While Not Wearing His Seat Belt And Was Thrown From His Vehicle In The Crash,…

This dumb dumb team. This goddamn Fyre Festival of a sports franchise.

There are some shots that can clear that up. And those shots are administered by Carmelo Anthony.

This on the heels of the self-tampering investigation announcement. It’d be hilarious if the NBA stepped in a denied a New Orleans/Lakers trade again.

If LeBron and AD get together, Ball probably gets shipped off to the Pelicans and then some shit team like the Heat.  It would be A Lonzo Mourning.

You are not, nor will ever be, me.

Considering Duke has all the tools necessary to win a title, and the Patriots are in the Super Bowl, and the Warriors are back at full strength, and both the Red Sox and Yankees have solid rosters, we’re looking at potentially the most insufferable set of champions in a very long time.