This is like losing a ten dollar bill one day but then the next day you see a dog in a motorcycle sidecar wearing his own dog goggles.

I DON’T KNOW YOU THAT’S MY PURSE!

I don’t know much about Tristan Thompson, but I know enough about Draymond Green to know that Thompson was totally right, and I’m 100% on his side, and he absolutely won the fight.

“Son, do you remember your name?”

UPDATE: Bryce Harper has signed with the Golden State Warriors.

That is a good and great baseball man right there. 

I went to an Arena League game 15 years ago. San Jose Sabercats vs. who the hell knows. It was like a Van Halen concert with a foosball table in the middle.

I’m not a God-fearing man, but I thank Him every day I didn’t have Twitter when I was coming of age.

LeBron’s just like us, wearing the free shirt he got from a work trip.

His spatial reasoning skills are off the charts. I walked facefirst into a wall the other day in my own home.

Lol yeah, I get he cheated, but he also raised millions and millions of dollars for cancer research. As far as I’m concerned, his indiscretion wasn’t as bad as his positive contribution

I like your takes. Do you have a podcast I could subscribe to? 

That reminds me of the time I looked up "Cleveland Steamer" on xhamster and the top link was of a Browns game.

Looking forward to the inevitable crossover promotion with Pornhub.

I’m old enough to remember when this was called Ghost Riding.

You kinda buried the lede here, since you don’t mention the union until the last line. That’s what the PA is there for & I would 100% support the players striking until they get guaranteed contracts. I know a lot of the FOOTBAW mouthbreathers out there (like that idiot tweeting at Jones) would lose their goddamn…

Listen--no one said it was a taut rope, ya ninny.

Pfft, baseball injuries. I was playing soccer the other week when some light contact from an opponent caused me to drop to the floor grasping my face. Despite the possibly-career-threatening seriousness of my injuries I was still able to roll around quite a lot and after less than five minutes of treatment I was able…

I know this is random but I'd give money to see Aaron Judge in a Judge Dredd costume. 

I don't see why this is a big deal. I suffer chip fractures all the time with my dominant hand, so I scoop those little bits of tortilla out of the queso with my fingers and eat them anyways because I’m a grown man.